When fear is bigger than you…

Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear?  I have.   I remember feeling so overwhelmed with the hows and whys and all the unknown questions that I had no answers to.  Feelings of  failure and inadequacy that were so much bigger than me; almost bigger than my faith.  Almost… It was so much bigger than me that it almost took my breath away; that it was felt all throughout my body.  I felt like I was at the brink of tears so many times while going through the everyday motions of life.  Feeling so unbalanced;  just. on. the. edge.

As a person that has prayed my whole life, it was almost that I didn’t have the words to pray for myself.  The heaviness of worry was crushing my spirit.  It was at those moments, when I couldn’t move past the worry and fear, that I asked others to pray for me.  Few knew the reason for the worry, but all knew that they don’t have to know, that God knows and that is enough.  I soooo believe in the power of prayer.

Sitting on my porch drinking coffee days later (one of my favorite places to be!), the worry settled in.  It was like an unwanted shadow that pervaded my thoughts and emotions.   As I was sitting there and reflecting on all the questions that I had without answers, fighting the worry and fear, I felt God’s presence.  It was in this moment, that I felt peace.  True peace; one that didn’t provide answers but rather a whisper of assurance that said, “I got this LaDonna.  You don’t have to carry these burdens because I am.  The journey will still be hard but the end will be okay”.

Can you say life-changing??   The complete peace that I felt is beyond description.  It has carried me through so many ups and downs and sleepless nights.  The journey has been hard and it probably still will be, but in the back of my mind and in my heart, I know that in the end it will be alright.   And that is enough for me.

I still don’t have the hows or whys answered, but I know that His whisper was exactly what I needed to help me on this journey.  Because in the end… it will be alright.